The essence of health is an inner kind of balance. — Dr. Andrew Weil, M.D.
People today talk a lot about achieving balance in their lives ... and rightfully so. We all want to be able to live in a state where we are joyful and selfless. A state where we find ourselves being totally present, with an inner tranquility that allows us to be fully alive. Is this a dream? I don't think so ... but it sure requires us to be totally present and to address the areas in our life that require attention.
About 15 years ago, I picked up a book at my local bookstore entitled: Living in Balance by Levey & Levey (a husband and wife team). The foreword was by the Dalai Lama, so a very powerful endorsement. To be honest, I don't remember why I picked it up then, but it has traveled with me from the East Coast to the West Coast and back to the East Coast as I've moved three times. Of particular interest in this book — and the reason for this post — is a model that prompts you to self-diagnose how "in-balance" you are. As I look back, I find it amazing that this model has stuck with me this long and has become my thermometer for how I'm doing.
Take a look:
The premise of this model is simple:
EMBRACE LIFE AS A LEARNING EXPEDITION AS IT IS THE FIRST STEP IN ACHIEVING BALANCE.
Powerful words indeed. Why? Because it is precisely when we push outside our comfort zone (when we are out of balance, per se) that we learn most about living in balance.
Here's a look at the five areas of the model:
THE ZONE (in the middle of the chart) — is where we feel most comfortable. We are in BALANCE. This is where we find ourselves being very familiar with all the things we do ... it is like we are on automatic pilot. It is a calm and collected state of mind, a state of tranquility. When we are here, everything flows. We find ourselves being totally efficient and things almost feel effortless. Everything works... period. We don't feel anxious and we don't feel bored. In sports terms, this is when athletes seem to be invincible, scoring 3-pointers like crazy or skiing down a mountain at supersonic speeds gracefully. This is our natural state, a state our body and mind always want to be in.
> Think of a time when you felt in the Zone. Describe how you felt.
THE UPPER LEARNING ZONE — the border area where we stretch ourselves to learn. Really anything that pushes us beyond our comfort zone, challenging us to learn and experience new things. The idea is that when we take on more and seek active learning, our comfort zone expands and it becomes larger that the one we began with. This expanded zone becomes our new normal ... our comfort zone. And the more we do it, the more we expand. So on and so forth.
> Can you recall the last time you stretched your comfort zone and learned something new? Something that expanded your "self" and made you feel energized?
THE LOWER LEARNING ZONE — the border area where we choose to consciously drop out of the learning flow and just chill for a bit. This is when we want some time to rest and recuperate from our learnings so we can incorporate them and benefit from them. We need this time to catch-up, to re-energize. It's like when you work out and push yourself doing weights. You can't really go back the next day and so the same set of muscles. You need to allow time for your muscles to restore themselves. Only then will they get stronger. Same premise here with overall learning. But the caution here is to not stay here too long. Why? Because if we do, we start getting dangerously close to boredom, to feeling apathetic and becoming lethargic.
> Is there an area in your life where you chose to relax while you charged your batteries?
THE BURNOUT ZONE — We've all experienced this at some point in our lives. When we start a new job and feel anxious and overwhelmed. When we have our first child and bring him/her home and think about all the things that need to be done! The burnout zone exists so we can peek into this extreme zone, learn as much as we can ... and then quickly step back into the learning zone. This zone represents the stressful times in our lives where we needed to learn to achieve a new skill and then move on. The analogy that I like to use is Everest. People climb Everest, but no human being can live at the top of Everest at 29,029 ft above sea level. What people do is set up a series of camps leading up to the final ascent so that their bodies can acclimatize (learn). Then, when they make the final push to the top, they experience extreme conditions (cold, oxygen deprivation, exhaustion, etc.) but only for a limited time. Their bodies are ready as they've learned new skills, so they peak and then they quickly return to camp. This same concept applies here. We have to push ourselves beyond our comfort zone and beyond our learning zone ... to that place where it will be a bit uncomfortable. If we're smart and manage it well by being present and acknowledging the conditions, we will come out stronger.
> When was the last time you were in the Burnout zone? Were you consciously aware of your exit strategy?
THE RUST-OUT ZONE — This is the opposite of the Burnout Zone. This is the zone where we are beyond bored. We're feeling frustrated and helpless. This is where we start feeling sorry for ourselves like we're not worthy. We have low self-esteem and start feeling despair. Sometimes this zone creeps up on us when we're not paying attention. It might be because we're stuck in a relationship or a job for a long time and we haven't done much with it. Then, one day we find ourselves mad at ourselves because we feel stuck. The first thing to do to get out of this zone is to become aware that we're in it. Then it is a matter of commitment and will to get out of it.
> Let's be honest, most of us have an area in our life that is neglected. It's time to set the alarm clock and wake up to the possibilities.
So there you have it. Five zones, which are all pretty intuitive.
Now, let's do an exercise in self-discovery:
- First, write a list of all the roles and identities that define you. For example, I would list: Father, Husband, Runner, Spiritual being, Advertising Guy, Health Coach, Friend, Lover, Counselor, Writer, Traveler, Chef, Blogger, Artist, Mentor, Creative, Son, Brother, Cousin, Uncle, Designer, Homebody, etc. etc. etc.
- Grab some Post-It pads and in each one write one of these roles or identities.
- Get a poster board and draw the chart ... or grab an erasable marker and draw it on a big window.
- Start placing the Post-It notes on the chart wherever you feel that specific role or identity is in your current life (zone).
- Once you've placed all the Post-Its, step back and take a look at all the roles in your life that are in the comfort zone, all those that are in the learning zones and ... most importantly those that are pushing dangerously close to the burnout and rust-out zones.
Challenge yourself this week to re-discover yourself. It's worth it. This is not meant to be an exercise to make you feel bad. Quite the contrary. This is a tool to self-diagnose, like when you take your car in for an oil change and they run some standard tests to ensure everything is in order. Perhaps that's what we should do, every 3-months ... check-in and see where you're at.
Remember, commit to thrive and #payyourhealthfirst
-- Chris
